tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

(via dwbadwolf)

jakemalik:

*stoner voice*

i didn’t go to high school

( •_•)>⌐■-■

i went to school high

(⌐■_■)

(via kingofcirclelenses)

largebeard:

foodchewer:

*hides good snacks from family members*

(via teenytigress)

romulusthread:

MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING

(via mayjazzle)

warbloggerofzillyhoo:

thesherlockfandomisbroken:

smith-and-noble:

samandpatricks:

today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly” 

In the original story the prince ordered one of his servants to put liquid tar on the staircase to stop her from running away. The shoe got stuck on the tar.

That is a liiiiittle bit creepy

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BROTHERS GRIMM FAIRYTALES HONEY

(Source: branstheman, via mayjazzle)

craplos:

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

(via cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle)